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How to get kicked out of shared accomodations

June 11, 2007 |

I like to think after two years of college, I have become somewhat of an expert on bad roommates. We’ve all had that one terrible roommate (or roommates). Perhaps you have some horror stories to share of maybe some things that would fit on this list. Lets share in the joy of getting back at a bad roommate together and help those who haven’t experienced that special part of life to prepare for the worst….

Do as little housework as possible and complain when its a mess: I have to share the story behind this one. We can actually count the times over 4 months that our ex-roommate did the dishes. One time we left the house for a weekend and when I got back his first words to me were “It stinks in here.” Well then… CLEAN! YOU IDIOT! It smells because we’ve been gone for two days and you have been rotting in your own filth.

Listen to a lot of rap music: Rap is scientifically the most annoying type of music. Whether you like it or not. The booming bass sounds are a menace when you are not the one listening to it. And no matter what you will not be the only one who can hear it.

Use unreasonable amounts of toilet paper: This is a surefire way to piss off your roommates. If you have multiple roomies, try to use more than they do combined. Also, remember not to be around when they run out. If you are around, just tell them you will buy it but then waste time until they have no choice to buy it themselves.

Bum things off your roommate : Most of life’s vices are fair game. Cigarettes, beer, condiments, ect. For added dissatisfaction try telling them you’ll get the next one and never actually get it.

Wake the house up when you wake up: Assume that everyone wanted to get up at the exact same time as you did. Clang pots and pans around. Turn the TV up loud enough to hear from the kitchen or the bathroom. Sing in the shower.

Eat smelly foods: You know when you walk into an apartment building and you walk through the halls and go “Ugh what are they cooking?”. Now Imagine how great it would be to live right in the middle of that.

Knock… but don’t wait for someone to say ‘Come in‘: Your roommate’s privacy is nowhere near as important as you needing to borrow their computer for an hour. If you see them naked its extra points (if they wanted you to is minus points)

Don’t pay rent: This is pretty self explanatory.

So, please share with me your roommate horror stories, or, if you have them, ways to get back at the roommates from hell.

Tagged : Random

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